Sas xairetw olous. Einai h proti fora pou grafw. Sas diavazw arketo kairo tora, mpas k mathw h katalavw, afou den mporw na milisw me to atomo pou prepei. Tora omws vrhka to tharos. An kai mallon einai arga.
Sas grafw ws ena atomo pou irthe antimetwpo me th sklhrynsh alla oxi apo thn pleyra ths pasxousas (AKOMA). kapoia pragmata me pnigoun kai den mporw oute thelw na ta moirastw me kanenan apo tous gyrw mou. Eimai 28 k o filos mou 29. Eixame sxesh merikous mhnes, xwrisame edw k 1 xrono peripou k kratame epafh sto pou kai pou to teleytaio diasthma. Den tha sas kourasw me polles leptomeries an k prepei na pw kapoia pragmata gia na vgei nohma se ayto pou thelw na sas pw. To thema ths sklhrynshs emeine ypotithetai kryfo apo thn arxh mexri shmera pou sas grafw.
Me ton filo mou tairiaxame poly. Htan aytos pou me travhxe mesa sth sxesh. Me ekane 4 menes na niwthw poly omorfa synaisthimata kai mallon spania. Egw den hxera tipota gia ayto pou antimetwpizei kai sthn arxh epeidh akolouthousame pio xalarous rythmous ( de mename k konta)den mporousa oute na to katalavw, apla ton parexhgousa oti dinei liga. Oso proxwrouse h sxesh katalavaina oti kati den paei kala, mou edine stoixeia gia giatrous k exetaseis alla pote den elege parapanw pragmata k egw apo diakritikothta de rwtousa. Otan h sxesh egine desmeysh (ennow pio entonh) k vrhkame rythmo k ta synaisthimata eginan pio entona irthe paramones apo giortes k xafnika k apotoma mou eipe na xwrisoume k na vrw kapoion allon na proxwrhsw pou tha me kanei eytyxismenh. Emeina pagwto. Katalava oti me koroideye toso kairo. Akoma den hxera...
O xwrismos htan dyskolos. Gia 9 mhnes kratagame thlefwniki epafh arketa syxnh. Pernousame kapoies wres mazi san filoi. De me afhne na ertho pio konta tou synaisthimatika. Htan psyxros. Opote pistika oti pote de me ithele. Sto diasthma ayto to 9 mhnwn kapoia stigmh to ematha to mystiko ths sklhrynshs apo enan theio mou tyxaia sto pasxalino trapezi apotoma. Sth diarkeia aytwn twn 9 mhnwn prospathise k o idios na mou to pei. Kai egw eixa pathei sok giati eixa foveres typseis. Ektimhsa osa mou eixe dosei pio poly. Neyriasa me ton eayto mou pou ton eixa piesei. Sixathika ton eayto mou gia pragmata pou ton anagasa na akousei mesa sthn agnoia mou. Den hxera. Den hxera an eprepe na tou to pw otan to ematha. Den hxera an eprepe na sevastw apofaseis tou k na ton afhsw ayton na to syzhthsei otan ithele k opws ithele. Hmastan xwrismenoi k otan kaname parea k hxera pia...anhsyxousa gia ola k den mporousa na to ekfrasw. Hxera stigmes pou den htan kala k den mporousa na tou stathw. Meta thymwsa giati thewrousa oti de noiazetai katholou gia mena, oti de me empistevetai. Oti to na mh thelei na to moirastei mazi mou shmainei oti me aporriptei k oxi oti mas prostateyei. To oti antimetwpize ena toso shmantiko thema de shmaine oti tha eprepe kai na me thelei. Ara giati de me afhne hsyxh efoson hxere ti eniwtha? Xathika sto rolo mou. Meta eniwtha typseis. Meta fovo. Exasa ton eayto mou. Pote den katalava ti pragmatika eniwthe. Pote den katalava poies htan oi alitheies pou eprepe na moirastoume. Pote de me afhse na apofasisw KAI EGW, alla me ton enan h ton allo tropo me eixe mesa sthn katastash. kapoia stigmh ypopteythika oti opws egw gnwriza "kryfa" etsi k aytos gnwrize "kryfa oti gnwriza". kai kapou ekei katalava ayto pou polles fores anaferete edw mesa oti sth sklhrynsh tha se antimetwpisoun oi alloi opws antimetwpizeis esy ton eayto sou"
Polla lathi...
Apo ton Ioulio de milame katholou. Poly spania. Mathainw kapoia nea apo thn aderfh tou. O,ti piasei to ayti mou dhladh...k o idios otan me parei thl akougetai ligaki sygkinimenos. K tote egw thymwnw. Akoma de mou exei pei tipota. Mono mou exei perigrapsei....
Niwthw oti den mporw na proxwrhsw me allon anthrwpo akoma. Niwthw oti aytos phre thn apofash kai gia tous dyo kai mou thn epevale. Otan anakoinwsei kapoios th sklhrynsh xerete den feygei aparaithta. Mporei na thelei k na meinei. na prospathisei na dokimasei. Sthn ousia ayto ithela na sas grapsw. An endiafereste gia kapoio atomo, miliste tou. Mhn parete eseis thn apofash k gia tous dyo. Mporei na einai lathos. Emena h sklhrynsh me efere pio konta. vevaia praktika den thn ezhsa pote. De me afhse. Alla me efere pio konta. Apo thavmasmo gia osa ekane, oxi apo lyphsh. Den yparxei xwros gia kati tetoio. To kefali mou tosous mhnes egine mparouti...alla to perasa monh mou. Kai twra pou den exoume epafh, koitwntas pisw mou menei to parapono oti isws egw na eniwsa, enw aytos oxi..
eyxaristw osous to diavasoun. Kai skefteite sovara pws tha kanoume oloi mas th zwh mas kalyterh kathe mera. Mera mera...
Sas grafw ws ena atomo pou irthe antimetwpo me th sklhrynsh alla oxi apo thn pleyra ths pasxousas (AKOMA). kapoia pragmata me pnigoun kai den mporw oute thelw na ta moirastw me kanenan apo tous gyrw mou. Eimai 28 k o filos mou 29. Eixame sxesh merikous mhnes, xwrisame edw k 1 xrono peripou k kratame epafh sto pou kai pou to teleytaio diasthma. Den tha sas kourasw me polles leptomeries an k prepei na pw kapoia pragmata gia na vgei nohma se ayto pou thelw na sas pw. To thema ths sklhrynshs emeine ypotithetai kryfo apo thn arxh mexri shmera pou sas grafw.
Me ton filo mou tairiaxame poly. Htan aytos pou me travhxe mesa sth sxesh. Me ekane 4 menes na niwthw poly omorfa synaisthimata kai mallon spania. Egw den hxera tipota gia ayto pou antimetwpizei kai sthn arxh epeidh akolouthousame pio xalarous rythmous ( de mename k konta)den mporousa oute na to katalavw, apla ton parexhgousa oti dinei liga. Oso proxwrouse h sxesh katalavaina oti kati den paei kala, mou edine stoixeia gia giatrous k exetaseis alla pote den elege parapanw pragmata k egw apo diakritikothta de rwtousa. Otan h sxesh egine desmeysh (ennow pio entonh) k vrhkame rythmo k ta synaisthimata eginan pio entona irthe paramones apo giortes k xafnika k apotoma mou eipe na xwrisoume k na vrw kapoion allon na proxwrhsw pou tha me kanei eytyxismenh. Emeina pagwto. Katalava oti me koroideye toso kairo. Akoma den hxera...
O xwrismos htan dyskolos. Gia 9 mhnes kratagame thlefwniki epafh arketa syxnh. Pernousame kapoies wres mazi san filoi. De me afhne na ertho pio konta tou synaisthimatika. Htan psyxros. Opote pistika oti pote de me ithele. Sto diasthma ayto to 9 mhnwn kapoia stigmh to ematha to mystiko ths sklhrynshs apo enan theio mou tyxaia sto pasxalino trapezi apotoma. Sth diarkeia aytwn twn 9 mhnwn prospathise k o idios na mou to pei. Kai egw eixa pathei sok giati eixa foveres typseis. Ektimhsa osa mou eixe dosei pio poly. Neyriasa me ton eayto mou pou ton eixa piesei. Sixathika ton eayto mou gia pragmata pou ton anagasa na akousei mesa sthn agnoia mou. Den hxera. Den hxera an eprepe na tou to pw otan to ematha. Den hxera an eprepe na sevastw apofaseis tou k na ton afhsw ayton na to syzhthsei otan ithele k opws ithele. Hmastan xwrismenoi k otan kaname parea k hxera pia...anhsyxousa gia ola k den mporousa na to ekfrasw. Hxera stigmes pou den htan kala k den mporousa na tou stathw. Meta thymwsa giati thewrousa oti de noiazetai katholou gia mena, oti de me empistevetai. Oti to na mh thelei na to moirastei mazi mou shmainei oti me aporriptei k oxi oti mas prostateyei. To oti antimetwpize ena toso shmantiko thema de shmaine oti tha eprepe kai na me thelei. Ara giati de me afhne hsyxh efoson hxere ti eniwtha? Xathika sto rolo mou. Meta eniwtha typseis. Meta fovo. Exasa ton eayto mou. Pote den katalava ti pragmatika eniwthe. Pote den katalava poies htan oi alitheies pou eprepe na moirastoume. Pote de me afhse na apofasisw KAI EGW, alla me ton enan h ton allo tropo me eixe mesa sthn katastash. kapoia stigmh ypopteythika oti opws egw gnwriza "kryfa" etsi k aytos gnwrize "kryfa oti gnwriza". kai kapou ekei katalava ayto pou polles fores anaferete edw mesa oti sth sklhrynsh tha se antimetwpisoun oi alloi opws antimetwpizeis esy ton eayto sou"
Polla lathi...
Apo ton Ioulio de milame katholou. Poly spania. Mathainw kapoia nea apo thn aderfh tou. O,ti piasei to ayti mou dhladh...k o idios otan me parei thl akougetai ligaki sygkinimenos. K tote egw thymwnw. Akoma de mou exei pei tipota. Mono mou exei perigrapsei....
Niwthw oti den mporw na proxwrhsw me allon anthrwpo akoma. Niwthw oti aytos phre thn apofash kai gia tous dyo kai mou thn epevale. Otan anakoinwsei kapoios th sklhrynsh xerete den feygei aparaithta. Mporei na thelei k na meinei. na prospathisei na dokimasei. Sthn ousia ayto ithela na sas grapsw. An endiafereste gia kapoio atomo, miliste tou. Mhn parete eseis thn apofash k gia tous dyo. Mporei na einai lathos. Emena h sklhrynsh me efere pio konta. vevaia praktika den thn ezhsa pote. De me afhse. Alla me efere pio konta. Apo thavmasmo gia osa ekane, oxi apo lyphsh. Den yparxei xwros gia kati tetoio. To kefali mou tosous mhnes egine mparouti...alla to perasa monh mou. Kai twra pou den exoume epafh, koitwntas pisw mou menei to parapono oti isws egw na eniwsa, enw aytos oxi..
eyxaristw osous to diavasoun. Kai skefteite sovara pws tha kanoume oloi mas th zwh mas kalyterh kathe mera. Mera mera...
